Hi, I am Tomi, the proud founder and servant leader behind One Young Wife. I am “momma” to two sons and loving spouse to a brilliant husband.
Today, I serve a global community of young wives with resources designed specifically to empower them to find strength, confidence, respect and peace in their first years of marriage.
But I wasn’t always this way. I was once the young wife struggling to find her place in the world. In the early years of my own marriage, I did not feel good enough as a wife and needed to find my confidence again – but I was looking for it in the wrong places.
I was too focused trying to find my identity within my marriage and within my spouse – which is not the right place to look. My husband and I were having lots of arguments, and could not get out of this cycle. I was at the point of giving up, and thought that maybe marriage is not meant for me… I cried and I prayed to God – and one night while I was in prayer, it was as though a switch went off in my head.
I knew there was information out there that could help me turn my situation around, and so, I started to read.
I read every book I could get my hands on about marriage, self-improvement, on being a good wife and good companion. I put what I learned into practice, and discovered ways to express myself better and to resolve arguments better.
It took work – constant work, vulnerable work. I had to consistently and gradually be open about working on myself and shift my focus inward.
I learned that when the source of strength is coming from within you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does, as it will not change your reaction. Your reaction should be so rooted in who you are – you will have the right response for them that will not get outside of your control.
Through all that work, our marriage greatly improved! The knowledge I gained empowered me to be confident in what I know as a wife, have peace about what I did not know, and be intentional about the process of learning.
This experience taught me so much about strength, grace, and true partnership. I couldn’t help but think about all the other young wives out there that were struggling, and how much they would also benefit from the resources and lessons I learned.
I also realized, of all the books I read, none of them were specifically written from the perspective of one young wife to another young wife, or specifically addressing the critical issues that arise during those first few years of marriage, such as open communication, conflict resolution, sexual compatibility, dealing with in-laws and how to set boundaries, financial planning, gender roles, finding your place in marriage, defining each-others roles and managing expectations – this is such a fundamental stage!
So I started sharing my story. I pulled from all of my resources, and from the experiences I went through myself, and I started to share this information with others who were struggling in my community.
I created new resources designed specifically for new young wives and young wives to be… and what started as a small community grew and took on a life that I never imagined possible!
This community now serves as safe place for young wives to share struggles, victories and get support from other young wives. It is a place where we experience tremendous growth and have access to resources and expert counselors to help us every step of the way.
Now, I am in this space, working on a large scale – still focusing on the foundational years and empowering women all over the globe to find strength, confidence, respect and peace in their first years of marriage by connecting them with the right resources – all through the One Young Wife platform!